Today begins Day 1 of an Enlightened Womanpreneur Summit, free to seekers, where women from all over the world are invited to share their over-coming story to success via a video interview by Anniston Blair Riekstins, the founder. One woman at a time recalling the pain and heartache they faced and transformed into a beneficial, heart-warming result for a more successful existence. I’m honored to be part of it.
One person at a time, women and men are living through incredible indignities, heartbreaks and losses, and instead of choosing to define themselves with this pain and heartache, they choose to break open their heart to learn and grow from their challenge. It’s truly the gift of life we are here for, walking into the vulnerable world of acknowledging our pain to find the miracle within the heartache. It’s the time of awakening.
The operating word here is choice. Every day we make decisions from our choices. And as we make choices, we have to use our awareness to discern direction.
As life unfolds in this pandemic, the easier choices are not so easy any more. I have felt cornered by new protocols of healthy living in public. My desires to hop in the car and find something fun to do is thwarted by quarantines and threats of infection. Pastimes that help distract me from life’s challenges are laden with what if’s and better not’s.
I remember one of the keys to parenting a happy child is to give them choices. These choices allow them to feel independent, build their self-esteem and feel successful.
Susan Jeffers, the author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway offers a wonderful decision-making strategy. Plan A or a Plan B. There is no right or wrong. Plan A has these pros and cons. Plan B has these pros and cons. Do the due diligence to define the pros and cons. Sit with Plan A and Plan B, have awareness which one feels better, even subtly, and choose. Once the decision is made, fling your arms up and let it all go, trusting your ability to tweak any part of the plan to make it work. If something doesn’t work, learn from the experience and tweak it again. It’s a win-win situation.
We humans are incredibly adaptable. The key is we’re not allowed to berate and judge ourselves about any unexpected outcome, as the decision-making process allows us to learn and then grow from the experience.
It’s easy to create habits and make the same choices again and again. I am my own parent. I choose where I put my focus, and my choices, and when my choice turns out to be a difficult one that doesn’t end up how I wanted it to go, I don’t abandon myself in my time of pain. I learn from my experience and know the next time, I’ll make a different decision. A loving parent exists right inside of me.
Participants’ Reflections:
We are in this pandemic, and it’s hard to think of all the ways it has impacted us. Last week I was at an art class, wearing masks all day. I had to prepare to work with the material. It was an opportunity to see how everyone is dealing with it. Sometimes people would take their mask off to breathe; it’s hard in the humid heat to wear the mask. I was with teachers who are in a bind
The word “choices” is good to remember. Always have a plan B. Self-care is so important. My thinking gets me in trouble. But I can look to community for guidance. Sometimes my thinking isn't correct. They say pick your advisor, pick the advice. I have different communities for guidance. I like the phrase “go to your inner chamber.”
I loved the phrase “find the miracle within the heartache.” In the group, in the world, in our personal lives.
We are in a syndemic which is where multiple crises are occurring: we are in a pandemic of Covid, in the climate crisis, and in racial unrest. It makes life hard. Having a plan b keeps us smiling because our plan A keeps falling through.
I took time off to think and focus—plan A or B. A few days ago, I talked about a dream I had about driving a semitruck. During the meditation, I went back to that dream and realized my dear friend who recently passed gave me the confidence to drive that truck. She did that for me in my life. She guided me to put my hands on the wheel and press the gas. I have taken the easier way many times in my life. That dream gave me strength to do the driving, put my hands on the wheel and press the gas.
I had a recurring dream as child about a tractor trailer barreling down on me. Something I had to work through. Your dream is a great metaphor.
During the meditation, I felt my joy in teaching developmental math. I taught the students to learn from their mistakes. People are afraid of math because of making mistakes. But I got in touch with the joy of telling the students it’s okay to make mistakes and I gave them partial credit when they’d get part of the answer right. They weren’t used to that idea and they felt empowered.
More information on learning from our choices.