Updated: Sep 28, 2020
From this bird’s eye view, I feel on top of the world witnessing life day by day. There is more to each human on this earth besides their physical existence. We move step by step in life dressed in flesh and bones, focused on mindful tasks, energized by life force, fed by food fuel.
We are also light beings in our costumes, pulsating with a divine invisible energy, moving by the force of will, soul and heart towards higher ground as we learn and grow.
We are each unique, colorful and perfectly functioning beings following our hearts and our minds on our path of life. It’s so easy to believe we are what we think; the to-do lists, the goals and dreams concocted by our aspirations, the competitive race with a perception to achieve, find the best, do the best, land first, be right, be loved and accepted.
We believe we are a product of our memories, our dysfunctional homes, our childhood pain, our trauma and our scars. Our minds function and create, move us through life figuring out problems and solutions, directing us to be better, brighter, achieving fulfillment of our every need.
We are more. The power of love emanates from deep within. Our hearts hold keys that open inner doors to love, compassion, intelligence and beauty. Every experience we have; every choice we make; every opinion we hold; the complete all of life is wrapped up in a mystery unseen and yet poets and profits have been writing about this unseen mystery for centuries.
I was walking in the woods years ago with a friend. I realized as we walked, we were heading towards water as I glimpsed the sparkling presence through the trees. A comforting pine smell hung in the air. I stopped and inhaled. At that moment I had an experience that is hard to describe. The woods became light. The sound changed to a harmonic vibration. I felt a deep awareness like a strong wind that impacted my body. Within seconds I was looking at trees again, smelling the forest and standing on softness pine. Is this what the world looks like beyond my body?
As an extremely sensitive person, I choose how my energy engages with others by making choices to make eye contact or not. Our eyes are the windows to our souls. There is so much I don’t understand and I know there is more to see than what my physical eyes perceive. There is more to feel than what my physical body can detect. There is more to know than what my physical mind defines.
I practice pulling my aura closer around me when I am outside. It helps me feel more in control of how I’m impacted by the outside world. Opening my mind to the idea that my energy body is as real as my physical body allows me so much more understanding of my life experiences.
I remind myself to be grateful for my sensitivities. Sometimes it feels like a curse when I am bombarded by the harshness out there. I am alive in my body. I am alive without my body. I am sensitive in my body. I am sensitive without my body.
Who you are is so much more than what you do.
The essence, shining through the heart, soul, and center, the bare and bold truth of you does not lie in your to-do list.
You are not just at the surface of your skin, not just the impulse to arrange the muscles of your face into a smile or a frown, not just boundless energy, or bone wearying fatigue. Delve deeper.
You are divinity; the vast and open sky of spirit.
It's the light of God, the ember at your core, the passion and the presence, the timeless, deathless essence of you that reaches out and touches me.
Who you are transcends fear and turns suffering into liberation.
Who you are is love.
The reading brought me to a poem I wrote as a child. I went through a period of writing poems from age 10-13, during my puberty:
Look up, look up til you see no more
Look up beyond the faintest star
Beyond all knowledge, beyond all reason
Look up til you see beyond sight
To hear beyond sound
To feel beyond touch.
I haven’t thought about that poem in a very long time, and it brought me to a journey I’ve been on since I can remember. Thank you.
Two things. I am sensitive as well. I need to try to learn to find a way to protect myself, so I’m not bombarded as much. Also, I stopped on the phrase in the poem “turns suffering into liberation.” I wasn’t sure what she was referring to.
Maybe suffering turns into learning once you are past the suffering.
We are going to a funeral of 15-year old boy, an unbelievably talented boy who went to sleep and never woke up. He was a singer. No inkling. What can we possibly say to his parents? One nice thing in all this is the requirements for attending the funeral, to wear bright clothes. He was a meteor, not destined to be on this Earth long.
You have touched an angel that alit on this Earth for a reason. Everyone learned from it. He came with a purpose. It’s difficult, but so powerful to witness that.
I appreciate the sensitivity of each person in this group. I've been told many times in my life I’m too sensitive. I worked on it until I accepted that my sensitivity helps me enjoy so many things. I’ve embraced it and I am happy I'm too sensitive. Most of my life I was uncomfortable around babies, and I knew why. When a baby would stare at me, it was like they were undressing me and seeing the parts and parcels of my being. I figured out why they are staring at me -- their brains are just forming and they are coming from the mystery of life. There’s so much to learn from them staring at me and I loved it. So instead of feeling fearful, their stares became poetry to me.
Thank you for sharing from your heart. Someone told me to put my feet up in the air during meditation. So I tried it. At first, my meditation went to the future. And I’d say come back. And then to the past, and I had to bring myself back. Then I started breathing and asking myself what is it to be in now, this moment ? I loved the childhood poem because it’s about how to look past all the chatter trying to get in. Where’s the rabbit hole? How do I get in without effort and just be? That was my 15 minutes. And you said during some other meditation, that even if you can’t get there, giving myself the time to just say this is 15 minutes is enough.
Practice. We build that muscle with practice by pulling ourselves back to the present again and again.
The line that resonated with me is that “the eyes are a window to the soul.” And then, about babies, babies are pure soul. The personality hasn’t developed yet. It’s that pure essence.
Years ago, a therapist said to me “feel the love.” I felt like blocking it by putting my arms out to protect myself. It was too much. I couldn’t deal with it. It made me cry. It was like breaking through that thick slab of protection I had. Like a baby looking at you with love.