My Journal is the Meeting Room

Updated: Sep 26, 2020

As I live in my heart,

I find myself crying often,

eyes overflowing as I allow my tears

with compassion and acceptance.

I was punished for crying

Closed into a room until I ceased,

Banished for being scared

by adults who didn’t want to feel

I am the adult now and

My walls of control are built by me

Made of childhood memories now

Welcomed with open arms

Every day I sit in silence hoping my

Inner guard is relaxed and

In an allowing mood to let go of

Control born of years of living

Every day I sit in silence

I’m building trust as I walk up

To my inner guard, offer peace

And hold the heart door open

Some days it works and others not.

I am the patient parent holding

The crying child. I am tolerance

and compassion.

Some days there are tears from

Painful memories and missteps

Not yet aired or forgiven.

Other days tears of joy and relief.

I started a conversation yesterday

With forgotten friends,

Long ago acquaintances

I lost touch with

They all came in together

The young shirley in her 20’s,

the middle-age shirley in her 40’s

the older shirley in her 60’s.

As we sat together, the reunion

Started with a surge of regrets,