Updated: Sep 26, 2020
As I live in my heart,
I find myself crying often,
eyes overflowing as I allow my tears
with compassion and acceptance.
I was punished for crying
Closed into a room until I ceased,
Banished for being scared
by adults who didn’t want to feel
I am the adult now and
My walls of control are built by me
Made of childhood memories now
Welcomed with open arms
Every day I sit in silence hoping my
Inner guard is relaxed and
In an allowing mood to let go of
Control born of years of living
Every day I sit in silence
I’m building trust as I walk up
To my inner guard, offer peace
And hold the heart door open
Some days it works and others not.
I am the patient parent holding
The crying child. I am tolerance
Some days there are tears from
Painful memories and missteps
Not yet aired or forgiven.
Other days tears of joy and relief.
I started a conversation yesterday
With forgotten friends,
Long ago acquaintances
I lost touch with
They all came in together
The young shirley in her 20’s,
the middle-age shirley in her 40’s
the older shirley in her 60’s.
As we sat together, the reunion
Started with a surge of regrets,