Yesterday’s gift was a visit with my daughter and my grandchildren. Two weeks ago when reality set in and I made the decision not to spend Christmas Eve and Day with them, I sobbed. I want to witness their innocence as they experience the joy of Christmas morning. I felt devastated with deep sorrow for days. Time worked magic in the sense it all sorted out. I couldn’t see clear two weeks ago what made sense. Using patience, time and communication, we figured out a short 2-hour visit with masks would work for all of us. Like a tangled knot the whole thing seemed untenable. A new experience emerged.
Life right now is complicated. Pre-Covid days were carried out with thinking and planning and plotting and creating. Those steps are more complicated now. Last minute updates, detours of fear, reality checks, every step seems to drop in another obstacle – all based on our safety. It’s the reality of our times and it requires more planning and plotting and thinking outside the box.
It’s dawning on me I can’t figure out how every event and problem is going to work out. Equally important I realize I can’t guess outcomes. My affirmations read “I Let Go of Outcomes.” Situations may not be what I expect. Outcomes may not be what I want. Things have a way of sorting out. Is this acceptance because of my age or acceptance because of Covid learning? Who knows.
My goal every day is to breathe through the hiccups; stay steady through the roadblocks; remain centered through the perceived disasters and untie the knots. Find the gems within the rubble and keep going. Can I do it all the time? No I can’t. It’s a goal.
We drove half an hour for our visit bringing our gifts and also their gifts delivered in the last couple of weeks. We opened gifts together. What we didn’t realize is the surprise gift in our pile. A friend from California unexpectedly sent a box of face shields. This gift was the icing on a beautiful cake. I passed out the face shields and we freed ourselves from the masks and saw our beautiful smiles. My granddaughter kissed me on the lips pressing her lips on her face shield onto my face shield. It worked.
Little gems are found among the rubble of disappointments. Little moments are love bubbles filling up my soul. One foot in front of the other as I move on beyond today. Sometimes, it feels like a treasure hunt. Other days, it feels like a ghost town. Perception is the lock that opens the doors.
It Felt Love by Hafiz
Did the rose
Ever open its heart
And give to this world
It felt the encouragement of light
We all remain
It’s a gift to have this community, to see the faces, to hear the voices, and to be grateful that this practice gives back so much more. Words are limiting. I am grateful.
Thank you so much. Merry Christmas or whatever season of miracles people may celebrate today. I wish you a joyous season and bright, blessed new year. When my spouse was sick, near the end of his battle. One of his coworkers said his wife wanted to give us something. She was a pagan and the gifts she gave us were so beautiful and specific even if she didn’t know us. She knew us. We became close friends and her coven was having a ceremony where they sent up energy for us. I could remember where I was sitting when she said they sent up energy for his highest good. At that moment, everything shifted for me. Up until that moment, everyone told him to fight and fight. That fight killed him more than the cancer. Since then, the concept of highest good resonates throughout my whole being. when life didn’t go the way we thought it should go, the way we anticipated it should go, the way we wanted it to go it’s a fight. In hindsight, often times, we look at it now as this divine energy had a bigger picture in mind. Whenever I’m stuck in “this isn’t going the way I think it should or want it to,” meditation helps me so much. I come right back into today and my connection with the Divine, and know that there is a force working in my