Updated: Jun 2
Standing on the rim of May ready to jump into June of 2021, I’m in awe looking back. We just survived a year like no other which will be memorialized in textbooks and other historical works. From an eagle’s view, we humans weathered a tsunami breaking us open. Our hearts were uncovered and using free will, some of us picked up the pieces and others blamed others for their pain. It’s a choice.
I understand myself more by living through the year. Life has certainly got my attention. I’m impressed with my problem-solving skills on how I made do with what was available. I have a deeper trust in myself.
I’m remembering 20 years back newly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and exhausted from the fight of denial. My body turned against me and I was cornered. No refuge to turn to, no distraction but untenable pain, I surrendered. I felt defeated. I gave up.
I’m remembering 40 years back lying on my kitchen floor deeply sobbing, newly divorced and exhausted from fighting. My ex-husband just left with my children and I was cornered and defeated. I was alone, no distraction but the untenable pain. I surrendered in a puddle of snot on the floor and gave up.
I’ll never forget these turning points in my life. Situations that held so much hurt and despair. And I survived against my mind screaming my demise. Sometimes the worst situations in life can hold the greatest learnings all at a cost beyond understanding.
I see now each turning point held a familiar thread. In my despair, bottom-of-the-barrel position, I found me. The me beyond motherhood, beyond wife, beyond friend, beyond career, beyond family member. Each turning point led me back to me with a giant blinking neon arrow.
Wisdom whispers and it’s hard to hear among the cacophony of life. No one is without the wisdom. Everyone has pain and despair. Sometimes the walls are so thick protecting the tender heart, it takes a mountain of hurt to open - all orchestrated in a symphony written beyond the brain’s understanding. All intended for our highest and best good.
Like a wall of mirrors, duplicated images of wisdom whispers in each one of us as we live with our trials and tribulations. The same cacophony; the same despair; the same walls; the same tsunami; the tender heart and the understanding. Different faces, different stories, different endings, all orchestrated for our highest and best good.
The ultimate discovery always comes back to the essence of who we are, our deepest place tenderly hidden inside. We come home to ourselves. We were always there. Life is the sickle that forges through the jungle revealing the truth lesson by lesson all geared towards finding our inner, tender heart.
We face our struggles and worries and losses and pain. Life keeps going. Awareness helps remind us we are more than the jungle. We are more than the sickle. We are one with it all.
Be like the eagle. With wisdom in your lofty gaze, I invite you to lean back just for a second into the arms of your true essence. You are real. You are alive. You are worthy. You are magnificent.
Thank you. I only heard the last paragraph of what you said. I heard soaring eagle and magnificent. I looked up at a trophy I have with an eagle soaring on it and it says ‘dare to soar’ and ‘a total commitment to excellence is paramount to reaching the ultimate in performance.’ It is my magnificence, not excellence. I made the mistake of equating excellence with perfection. So if I am soaring as a total commitment to my magnificence, that’s a whole different thing than what is on this award I got in the past. I’m going forward into the future with celebrating and being committed to my magnificence.
Thank you. That was very, very powerful what you wrote about turning points. I remember the strongest turning point in my life where I realized I was no longer able to do life my way because my way wasn’t working. I was at my bottom and I had to give in and give up and find a new way to live. It opened up my whole life, even though it was so painful, to a new way of thinking. We struggle with turning points and it is about acceptance. Today is the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa Massacre and it should have been a turning point in the country’s life but it was glossed over and hidden. It highlights the fact that potential turning points need to be acknowledged, and the energy has to be expended to make them meaningful and an opportunity for learning a lesson and gaining wisdom. I hope something does happen as a result of today’s awareness.
Thank you for the reading. From that moment of despair on the floor, you were able to pivot. And as horrific as things may seem at a time, there is always that potential. Sadly, we have to remember the people who didn’t make the pivot and were