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Uncertainty and Surrender

Yesterday I knelt

On the ground

In honor of one who lost

His life and surrendered

I multiplied the loss

By thousands for their

Struggle to live with

Their differences

I held prayer and peace

As the seconds wore on

Feeling the infinity of struggle

Surrendering every moment

The horror, the struggle

The pain and terror

I replaced with my breath

And my prayer and my reverence

I reenacted the struggle

With surrender

Surrounded by beings of light

In attendance in action

We are unified as humans

One on this earth

In every color and shape

Everyone birthed

I imagine the fleet of light

Always on call, always alert

Surrounding the surrendering

With comfort and love

I imagine as one who moves

From the struggle to surrender

The surprising peace arrives

With the hands of love

I imagine confusion clears

And understanding appears

As they feel the unexpected arms

Of support surround them

From this side my human eyes

Only see the emotions

That represent lack and fear

Playing out in the world

From inside my heart’s eyes

I see the true picture of humanity

Unclear on life’s purpose

Buying into the lack and fear

Two sides struggling one for control

And the other for surrender

One side bought into the fear and

The other breathing the treetop view

Everyday I use breathe

To remain at my treetop view

While standing in my humanness


Participants’ Reflections:

  • There have been times in the last few weeks when we are meditating and I’ve looked at my watch and see ten minutes have gone by. It brings an awareness of what George Floyd went through. Yesterday, the gathering described in the reading drove home the enormity of it. We are hearing about new paradigms re policing. There is hope.

  • In the reading, I heard “take a knee”. It spoke to me of the importance of pausing. A teacher told me to imagine my head as a helium balloon. I’m aware how I hunch over. I saw a demonstration getting out of hand. And then the chief of police took a knee with the protesters. He was willing to pause. We are all the same people, under the same sky and on the same ground. He diffused the tensions through his act of humility. It is important to remember how powerful prayer is.

  • I’ve been crying a lot lately, from a compassionate place. I have felt the shift, and I have tears more often. I am experiencing a deeper compassion. This group has helped me be vulnerable and open.

  • I feel suffering, and am feeling the compassion.

  • In the reading, I heard the word “surrender”. None will know what Floyd was thinking at the end. I imagine he surrendered. We have to kneel physically or not to be in the moment. He died trying to get breath. I had a terrible trauma in my life. While it was happening, I began to feel calmness, like a still lake; I experienced complete surrender. We forget about that word. But we can’t meditate unless we surrender to the moment. I surrender.

  • The reading was my process yesterday at the silent gathering. I describe what I believe will happen at that point in my life. I'll be surrounded by loving light. I imagined the loving light was there for him.

  • In the 12-step program the third step is surrender. I still remember the first time I took that step. It gave me a new life.

  • Breathing is in the moment. It takes practice to do mindful breathing

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