Thank You For My Losses

Updated: Oct 18, 2020

I stand before my inner fire and bow my head in gratitude for the losses in my life.

Thank you to my parents for their blundering pain and wounded abandon as I define my safety with my healthy boundaries.

Thank you for all my heartaches, for the strands of every heartache leads to defining my heart’s needs and discovering I am the lover I’ve most wanted.

Thank you to my late wife for choosing to exit so suddenly and tragically for her surrendering granted me a window through the veil into the other side where I touched the incredible grace of departure.

Thank you Fibromyalgia for gifting me body knowledge so I am able to define my body’s needs with acceptance and surrender.

Thank you my daughter for your courage in living with a devastating disease, for you are my teacher in this classroom of life. I learned to love myself with grief and fear and most of all with courage I learned from you.

Every loss and pain and embarrassment and humiliation has taught me there’s a gem in every experience. The idea of finding a silver lining seems so cliché when looking from my other side of want.

With breath, with patience, with reflection, my gifts are apparent. I am grateful.

Staring at the Bones by Danna Faulds

Sooner or later, life in its variety

And wisdom, chews the meat from

The bones of my illusions. It sucks

The marrow from inside, and throws

The dry bones to bleach in a pile.

Expectations are treated with equal

Disdain. Stripped of their finery, they

Are revealed as nothing more than

Future plans, easy ways to stay safe,

Roadmaps drawn by a blind cartographer

Trying to imagine distant destinations.

This is the present moment’s boot camp.

Life’s lack of rules will be obeyed or I’ll

Spend my time peeling potatoes in the

Past. I can choose to leave behind the

Skeletons of what I thought I knew and