Surrendering is an inside job

This is a tough week for me. It’s in the cells of my body memory. In silence yesterday I made a deal with myself. After almost igniting the kitchen stove on fire with a forgotten pot of rice, I need to honor my grief, not ignore it.

I am able to deal with a lot of things, impatience, pain, fear and anger. I am strong. I have a lot of tools. But grief doesn’t have anything to do with being strong. Grief cannot be dealt with. It is to be respected and given space. I know if I ignore the messages, it won’t be good. I observe the signs. I am a witness to my memories. I deserve to be gentle with myself.

I learned a little over 20 years ago as I faced the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, pushing through pain is not the best answer. Surrender is. I resisted and denied the signals my body was flashing until I could no longer function. I was 100% disabled, brought to my knees by unrelenting pain. I had ignored myself long enough. The circumstances had my full attention and I was listening. I learned the art of surrendering.

Surrendering is not about the loss of a loved one. Surrendering is not about the daily struggle of humanity. Surrendering is not being a doormat.

Surrendering is about prayer and practice. Surrendering is about listening in silence. Surrendering is letting go of the pursuit to understand everything. Surrendering is about acceptance. Surrendering is inquiring with honesty and honoring needs. Surrendering is an inside job.

“It is important to expect nothing, to take every experience, including the negative ones, as merely steps on the path, and to proceed.” Ram Dass

I surrender to my need to control

I surrender and listen to my signals

I surrender and trust my inner wisdom knowing synchronicity guides me.

I surrender in understanding less is more and allow next steps to unfold.

I accept and trust my inner wisdom guides me to my highest and best good

Let it Go (Danna Faulds)

Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold: the holding of plans or dreams or expectations – Let it all go.

Save your strength to swim with the tide. The choice to fight what is here before you now will only result in struggle, fear, and desperate attempts to flee from the very energy you long for. Let go.

Let it all go and flow with the grace that washes through your days whether you received it gently or with all your quills raised to defend against invaders.

Take this on faith; the mind may never find the explanations that it seeks, but you will move forward nonetheless.

Let go, and the wave’s crest will carry you to unknown shores, beyond your wildest dreams or destinations.

Let it all go and find the place of rest and peace, and certain transformation.