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Remembering Loved Ones

I’m thinking about Memorial Day this morning

Loved ones present and Loved ones past

What is now and what was then

Who is here and who is not

I also acknowledge

Who is embodied and who is not

Values I hold in my heart

Along with who I love

It all sifts down to memories

No matter if they are

in my present life

Of they are parted

Memories of our experiences

Represent a deep value

They reside in our heart

No matter good or bad

Memories can be great

And memories can be painful

We can’t experience a memory

Without using our hearts

I have painful memories of my childhood

I thought were stuck there for my life

Reminding me with triggers

And reawakening the strife

I do have to admit

without my childhood experiences

The convictions of my values

Would not be so serious

I’ve learned to manipulate memories

That don’t serve me now

By changing my brain and

Interrupting the flow

Into something more safe

Meaningful and true

By using my heart

and love that’s the glue

I know deep in my heart

Our loved ones are present

No matter whether I can see them

Or sense their essence

Life on earth is not a waste of time

As I used to painfully believe

We experience, we learn

We love and we grieve

So as we live our lives

Falling in love with ourselves

We gather our loved ones

And life lessons close

And when we’re done

We move on again

To experience our lives

Beyond the din


  • Your reading was so appropriate for me. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother’s death. I meditated on forgiveness, and then felt compassion for her. As you have said she was unable to live in her light. She couldn’t tend to her family in a way that left us feeling loved and safe.

  • Yes, I learned this saying from Matt Kahn, to forgive my father for forsaking his own light in my life. We can see how easy it is to abandon self when bad things happen.

  • This is the second day I missed the reading. My sleep is off, my old dogs are keeping me off. I woke up yesterday aware I missed the meditation. I was thrown off today and was late getting on. I have issues as well. An absent father. The pain is still there. Yesterday, my daughter said she was thinking of calling him and introducing herself to him. She said she would if I called him first. I have work to do before I do that, but he's not too healthy. More to come.

  • You are not alone. You can ask for steps, and set intentions. I had old dogs too, they are loved ones

  • For the first 40 years of my life, I hated my father and was afraid of him. Then a therapist helped me and I was able to speak my truth to him. The last 13 years of his life we had a close relationship and I am connecting still with him. It opened up my life to walk through that bottleneck in my life.

  • I have had issues with my parents, and now with my kids. I started drinking to escape from the pain. I used the twelve-step program to sit down with parents and talk. My father told me of his childhood, how he didn’t know better. I could see that he never grew up. I believe alcohol affects the whole family. When I got better, I started taking care of myself, and my son developed resentments because he felt abandoned. I’ve made amends. I’m trying to repair the relationship. Louise Hay has an exercise, where you put people on a stage and speak your truth to them and then let it go. It’s helpful, it gets your feelings out.

  • During the meditation, I experienced lots of memories, of men, several are still alive. One was my father. He was in WWII, and he told me how painful his shoes were in bootcamp. Later in life, he had problems with his feet. There is physical pain and emotional pain. Some of the men could handle the physical pain but not mental pain.

  • What a coincidence. I started reading Louise Hays’ book You Can Heal Your Life a couple of days ago

  • I forgave my father. He was child of the depression. He was the first in the family to go to college. We aren’t taught to parent, people redo what they learned. I wouldn’t say it was abuse, but I got good spankings. The problem I experienced was that I could never do enough for him. Even in a situation where I was able to take him on a tour of the statehouse and introduce him to the governor. Even then, my father couldn’t say anything nice about me. So I looked for gifts I received from him. He used to buy strange cars, like from Japan and Germany, before anyone else. He introduced me to new things. A good thing to do is to make tape recordings of our parents’ stories.

  • Memorializing their stories

  • I think it is important to reparent ourselves, do for our inner child what our parents couldn’t do for us as children. Helps us heal.

Photo credit: Tree Study #13, Sue Dion,

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