Naming Things

Updated: Sep 27, 2020

This is a day of allowing.

I’m through the challenging weekend

Through the dreaming night

And into the Monday morning

This is a day of to do’s

Time schedules and projects

Clock ticking and sun moving

List checking and breathing

I can feel the fingers of expectation

Pressing on my shoulders

I can hear the lists of to do’s

Being read out loud slowly

I don my mask and don’t look up

Slowly breathing my presence into my feet

I am safe. I am happy

I am filled with unlimited value

I know this dance; I’ve been here before.

I will get everything done and all will be well

And yet my anxiety is pulling me forward

Yelling not to forget and must have now.

If I could shut off the sounds in my mind

Maybe the tension would lift in my body

And the more I try the louder it is,

So I breathe. I have all the time I need.

Standing at the cusp of change is hard.

The day before me not yet fulfilled

I adjust to the newness in hindsight

With time, with time.

I have always had anticipation anxiety

It comes with the territory of feeling unsafe

My hands are wringing and my brow furrowed

Even when goodness is around the corner.

The ghosts of my past can’t touch me now