Relaxing in a prone position, my face up against a towel, I was breathing easily with an intent to relax. I trust my energy worker. I wait in relaxation as my body more easily assimilates his energy adjustments. I’m idle.
Feeling like I just pricked my finger, a thought bursts in reminding me of the news I heard of Covid arriving on a family member’s street and what if this and what if that. I feel the muscles tense in my back which is not supposed to happen as I’m supposed to be relaxing. What is wrong with me? I’m here paying for a chiropractic adjustment and I’m blowing hot breath into the towel feeling stressed.
Susan Jeffers wrote a book, End the Struggle and Dance with Life-How to Build Yourself Up When the World Gets you Down. The book popped out at me this morning:
“Remember that our minds, when governed by the Lower Self, aren’t capable of imagining the grand possibilities that are there for us. Therefore, it is important that we learn to tune in to a part of us that has much greater vision, the Higher Self.” - Susan Jeffers
By the time I got home I was in tears having projected destruction and demise in my family’s life, in my life and in the world. I went over the edge. It’s so easy to do this nowadays with the news and the gossip and the fear. I had choices at that moment. Deny my tears and pretend I’m fine or feel my feelings, release them and start over. I chose to cry. Denying takes so much energy. In the end crying helped and I felt better.
Understanding the type of self-talk going on in the privacy of my mind helps me. I was engaging with my Lower Self buying in to the fear and running with it. Like a high-speed train, once fear is engaged it takes off. It’s loud and it’s brassy. Fear tenses my muscles, disassociates me from the present moment.
For years I didn’t believe I was in charge of my thoughts, having learned and practiced over and over again a victim-mentality just reacting to life.
I am in charge of what I allow myself to ponder and what I don’t. Fear sneaks in though, in those spaces reserved for deep heart connections. Fear sneaks in when I’m tired. Fear sneaks in like a contagion when I’m not paying attention.
My Higher Self is my ally, always present but not pushy. There for support to offer love and insight. My relationship with my Higher Self grows stronger as I use tools that enhance it, tools I learned from reading.
It’s my choice whether I side with my Higher Self or feed the fear in my Lower Self. My Higher Self is intelligent, learns new things, keeps up with the news in a healthy way so my perspective stays within its arena. When I go over the edge and interact with my Lower Self, my Higher Self is waiting like a mother down on one knee watching me get off my bus welcoming me home with open arms. Always there. Always patient. Always loving.
“We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures.” Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
Certainly fear is present with me today. I’m taking a medically-compromised family member outside and we are very fearful. Even the car ride can be a problem. It’s scary. Thank you for your prayers.
All our hearts are with you in that.
During your reading share, I wrote this down: what would you do if someone told you everything would be taken care of? I believe everything will be taken care of. What would I do if I felt like all will be well and really trusted that, it’s really hard. I’m grieving the loss of a friend who was in a lot of support groups I attended. I’m trying to reframe that all is well, all will work out. A lot of family drama that I have no control over right now. And to know that, in the big, big, big picture, things tend to work out the way they are supposed to. Stay connected with each other, stay connected to love, we will be victorious in that way.
I want to thank you for the image of the higher self greeting you as you get off the bus. That’s such a lovely image. And I never had that, but I felt that I could recreate that memory, just knowing that the hug is there, the love is there.
I never had that either. I recreated it. I designed it just the way I want it. It made me feel like crying when I wrote it because it just hit me. We can design it the way we want.
The mention of your family member having Covid in the neighborhood, I’m hearing it’s one or two people away, but I’m hearing more people getting Covid. Luckily, the people I know are doing okay. But it is scary, the day is coming when we are all going to know people. And it’s just really hard, and it’s hard because we know it’s coming.
As we go into the end of September and into October and November, we are already in intensity, and I think it’s going to get worse. It’s important to breathe and feed our Higher Self.
Today, during the meditation, the image came to me of the ground with a black cloth over the ground, and there were smooth amethyst stones on top of the cloth. Amethyst is a protector stone. I felt I was creating a puzzle of life. The stones were all going into the sinkhole, but this black cloth was holding things up. What could that possibly mean? We have this foundation, and even though there is fear of going into the sinkhole, you are still being held by the ground even though that ground is compromised a bit.
Thank you to all of you. The silver lining of me not being able to sleep last night is this morning. I really appreciate all of you and everything you’ve said has filled my heart.