Life is Stunning

I spent a good amount of time yesterday afternoon just laying in bed staring at the ceiling. An overwhelming, tearful day of joy and loss. Beginnings and endings. Relief and resolve.

If we as a nation had not experienced a great disturber, would we be breathing sighs of relief and experiencing such clarity in direction? Isn’t that the purpose of a disturber, to stir up the pot so all the lumps can be sifted out?

Stunning sigh of relief. I didn’t realize how tight I was living for four years. How my grimace created wrinkles. How my hearing became so acute. Neither happy or sad—stunned.

And, within the same moment, I find the news that a friend moved on. We experienced a stunning Shamanic healing together, held hands, laughed, expelled, shared and hugged. She left through the breast cancer door. I didn’t realize she decided it was time. I didn’t realize.

And, within the same hour, I start reading the book “Untamed” on my Kindle describing a woman’s life blown open because she fell in love with a woman, and how her life changed and people reacted and sneered and her heart exploded into joy she never knew was possible. I could feel every word because it was my experience how I lived below the radar but couldn’t get past judgments and fears and they became wrinkles on my heart as well. And with each word I read, I remember those I disappointed then, and yet, now, they are exclaiming the power, wonder and incredible joy from reading this book. Stunning!

Life changes in a blink of an eye. I stare at the ceiling attempting to assimilate what just happened. What just happened.

Another wrinkle unwrinkles. Another reminder that sorrow and regret holds possibility of relief and understanding. Another soul leaves this dimension and therein lies more understanding of the other side.

It’s time to change my language. Death is not the end. Death is moving on to another beginning. Regrets are not permanent. Regrets hold learning to help move beyond. And a hateful, wounded leader was the disguise for a great disturber whose purpose was to accelerate our nation out of complacency agitating souls into action.

A stunning day. I am more awake. The nation is more awake. Life is stunning.

Second Sight by David Whyte

Sometimes, you need the ocean light,

and colors you’ve never seen before

painted through an evening sky.

Sometimes you need your God

to be a simple invitation,

not a telling word of wisdom.

Sometimes you need only the first shyness

that comes from being shown things

far beyond your understanding,

so that you can fly and become free by being still and by being still here.

And then there are times you need to be

brought to ground by touch