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Life is a Cabinet Full of Experiences

Sometimes I don’t have a clue

what to do next

Though my filing cabinet

is full of life experiences

What works what doesn’t

Open doors

and don’t go there agains

Welcome this in but don’t choose that

Knowledge with hindsight

Speaking with awareness

I am emerging through the

What if’s, should do’s, have to’s

Flip flopping between what is right

and what makes me happy

the discerning that happens

minute by minute

Where I place my attention

Where I put my efforts

Where to move my body

What action to take

What to think

What to feel

Let this in

block that out

For it takes but a second

To feel an explosion of bliss

Or an explosion of sorrow

To the next step of

Letting go or hanging on

Freeing the triggers

Or harboring them in pain

Dancing in joy

Or frozen in silence

I am a body of awareness

Aging into intentional steps

Of choices, emotions,

actions and reactions

practicing life with a cabinet

full of experiences

carefully engaging

day by day

my fields of intention

sometimes stepping in a hole

recovering and capturing

more hindsight and grace

Challenges will come

Flow will follow

With my breath

Allowing me to land

On my feet

As I continue into understanding

My awareness is a gift

My intention is the rudder

My breath is my fuel

Participants’ Reflections:

  • During the meditation, I thought about doorways. One you’ve gone through before, now looks different. You can check with an inner knowing; check to see if that’s where you want to go

  • I was thinking about how we get bombarded by decisions. I’ve learned to take a pause when I have to make a big decision. I do a menial task to buy myself some time, like wash the dishes or sort the socks. If I grapple with the moral thing in there. It‘s big. I give myself permission to not make the decision immediately. If someone is boxing me in to make it by some deadline, usually my answer is no. Time things are maddening. And answers can come from community.

  • Changing perspective helps me too

  • This was a very meaningful reading. I heard the phrase “I am awareness.” Humans have a choice to go away from one thought path or go towards it. I sent an intention in silence. In a meditative state, I set an intention to be in peace. I bring self back to peace.

  • This is a powerful thing to do. Freeing

  • I thought about struggle. I used to struggle, thought life was supposed to be like “Leave it to Beaver.” I’ve gained more acceptance of the downs. I have tools today. I used to drink to avoid the downs. I’ve learned it is ok to be sad and mad. When I feel mistreated now, I speak up. I’m not buying into the old messages, the shoulds, “you should be able to handle that.” I’m praying for you, when I went through my divorce, I brought something to court with me.

  • I need this support now. Yesterday was hard. I’m in a writing workshop, someone in it passed away from a cycling accident. He was a great person; he gave me permission to grieve. One can feel quite intimate with writing friends because of what you share. He wrote a story about cycling back in time to the womb while physically riding forward on his bike. I reread his piece last night. It’s an amazing metaphor. I’ve been crying about that and for three years of dealing with my daughter’s mental issues.

  • You are at a sad door. He is in your life. Now that he is on the other side, he is your ally. I encourage you to keep talking with him

  • This idea of being backed into corner I can relate to. I am taking this 1/2 hour for myself and it feels good. Yesterday was a whirlwind. I am grateful my family is around. There is chaos. I am able to shut the door for myself and give myself this half hour. It is valuable time for me

  • It’s not easy to make choices, with all the demands on us. It’s important to focus on and develop tools. I’ve used the tools in Susan Jeffers’ book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway for years. It is one of many resources for my toolbelt.

  • I am grateful for the support this group brings me

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