About a month ago
I was asked to perform a task
I thought was beyond my abilities.
It’s not important the task or the people
What is important is the door that opened.
My calendar was noted
for four weeks ahead
I wasn’t ready was my inside voice
Yes, I am was my quiet voice
I’m not good enough is my inside voice.
You are everything you need said my quiet voice
I imagined myself into panic
My quiet voice sat by me in silence
I imagined my failure
My quiet voice stayed steady.
Back and forth we went through the days
As I watched the calendar pass
Walking up one road of fear
And down another to acceptance
Little by little my quiet voice guided me
through all the obstacles I threw in my path
Little by little I found guidance
Inside and outside
An energy clearing here
A profound message of support there
I listened and doubted
I listened and watched the calendar
I discovered I am not alone
Even when I’m scared.
I ask for help and answers come
I say yes and find inner guidance
Day by day
Week by week
I changed
Until I was ready
And the appointment cancelled.
And I knew it wasn’t about the appointment
It was about the journey.
I learned so much
I cleared so much
Thank you for this journey
Through my fears and doubts
Through the mountainous obstacles
I threw in my path
The illusions seem real
The fears construct metal mountains
I breathe past my fears
I’m not alone
Now I’m prepared
Now I’m ready.
A Journey by Dr. M. Coleman Harris Life is like a journey Taken on a train With a pair of travellers At each windowpane. I may sit beside you All the journey through, Or I may sit elsewhere Never knowing you. But if fate should make me To sit by your side, Let’s be pleasant travelers; It’s so short a ride.
Participants’ Reflections:
Thank you. That was beautiful. It reminded me of the poem Ithaca by Constantine Cavafy. To keep Ithaca in your mind because without Ithaca, one never would have set out on the journey. We have a destination when we start on something, but the journey is more important than the destination. What we learn on the journey is what matters. It’s such a good way to look at life and doing things. It’s a way to combat fear. Going into the unknown is something to go towards. It’s okay if I don’t get to where I planned. What’s important is to take the steps.
Thank you. During the meditation, I came to a realization that hadn’t hit before. I’ve always told myself that I prioritized my dissertation over my family. I set a date for my graduation and invited my mother. One really has no control over this process. And I had to put myself and my dissertation first and then I was able to get it done. I had excuses why I couldn’t finish but putting it first, I made my quiet voice louder than all those inside voices of doubt. Thank you.
Thank you for your reading. I loved the poem. So many aha moments came up for me during the meditation. It felt good to be thinking about it all. I loved the synchronicity. This morning on the word for the day from gratefulness.org is “A bird is safe in its nest but that is not what it’s wings are made for.” I liked the difference between the quiet voice and the inside voice. I never thought about that. I need to work at getting my quiet voice to override my inside voice. So thank you. I like the idea of getting out of the nest.
“A ship in port is safe from storms, but that is not what ships were built for.”
Thank you. The meditation reading took me to a time in my life when I was asked to lead a women’s choir in a women’s prison. I didn’t feel qualified. On the first day, it was just me and 50 inmates. Walking up to the chapel, I had Jesus holding my hand. At the end of three months, I told the director that I can’t continue doing this. I said I needed someone to help me. I wound up doing it for four years because one of the inmates was a gifted musician and she made it work. I just turned on the lights and set up the room. I am grateful for the quote from gratefulness.org.
Thank you. I’m thinking about the journeys we take in life and I thought about rest stops. We do need to stop along the way and rest. I wish they would change the signs to ‘stop and rest.’ It would get our attention. I was on a path along a nearby river and someone had painted on the path ‘wake up.’ I just loved that. On any journey, we get our coffee so that we can wake up. But waking up internally is what we do in this group and I so appreciate the group.
For a number of years in our state, the rest stops have been closed. It’s a budget issue. What does it say about our society? Don’t rest, don’t collect yourself, don’t reinvigorate yourself. It’s kind of a pathetic message.
I love the idea of a rest stop. That’s what I did when I was going to school. I had a new baby. An advisor suggested I ask for a leave of absence. I did and I took three years off. I came back and changed direction in my studies. That resting, stopping to think and pausing, I went in a new direction. If you just keep going forward without stopping, thinking, pausing, you may be going in the wrong direction.
And people may stop because they think they can’t do anything because this happens. It’s another act of self-care, asking for what one needs. Metaphors are powerful.
It returns to the concept of the road we were talking about the other day, knowing if you are on the right road or if the road has changed. That awareness.
It’s never a wrong road. It might feel wrong but it leads us to some lesson that leads us back to making a better choice from the knowledge we gained. That is comforting to me to remember.
Thinking about the voyage when taking a walk, I can see to the edge of the horizon which appears as the end of the walk. Then you get to the top of that rise, and there’s another one. It’s a reminder that it’s a never-ending voyage. It’s not about the destination.
Great sharing and great topic. Thank you. Everything is going through my head today. I’m going through so much. This reminded me of a time I cycled in a competition on a team with others doing running, kayaking, swimming. I had to cycle as fast as I could between two towns. Before the race, a guy showed me how to understand the elevation of the hills and how much effort to put forth on the different hills. He said most people give everything on the first hill but there’s another one right after that so it’s best not to sprint on the first hill. His telling me helped me overtake everyone on the second hill. It’s a great piece of advice, if you are in it for the long haul. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. It was about the journey, not the destination.
Thank you. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for listening to my journey. I love saying good morning to everyone and hearing your voices and seeing your faces. I hope you all have a gentle day. Stay cool. Navigate your waters as you move through them. Take care of yourselves.
Photo credit: Ricardo Rocha https://unsplash.com/@rcrazy