Question: Due to childhood trauma stored in my body, I have lost my sense of purpose and direction in this lifetime. It seems that I live in murky waters and I am unable to see my path. I try to clear the way and for some reason, I just can't see it yet. - Anonymous
When the story of our past holds so much trauma it blurs the present, one may feel they are swimming upstream against the force of life. Always in the passenger seat, not at the wheel, feeling misaligned reacting to injustice, and suffering.
It’s ironic when one feels so stifled while the body grows and matures ultimately appearing whole and complete. Yet inside, the wounded child is hiding, reacting and struggling.
First and foremost, no life is wasted on this Earth because of wounds and lack of direction. Every sentient form has a purpose. The soul purpose of one may be to heal and regain comfort, solace and understanding. Their soul purpose may be to accept themselves with tenderness, cradle their innocence, honor and befriend their inner child who fled so long ago. Their soul purpose may be to uncover a thread of inspiration discovering they can weave it into a quilt to share with others blinded by their own suffering.
One’s ability to think of their soul purpose is limited by the thinking mind and ego. There’s so much more to our being.
Distractions of the mind pursuing ghosts of expectations instilled by wounded authority figures can become literal mazes one gets caught in chasing what one perceives as the right way.
Practicing silence with intention creates a platform where rebuilding naturally happens. The power is in the intention.
You know what favorite foods you prefer that provide comfort and solace for your suffering. You know what images inspire your awareness away from your distractions. You know truth when you feel it, hear it and see it.
These favorite things become threads to follow to find direction in the present moment. One step at a time, one breath at a time, setting an intention to honor within.
There’s a practice that may be helpful to support your intentions. It requires some time to create with minimal supplies. The goal is to create an intentional object that holds the qualities of your direction. You don’t have to have artistic abilities, only a desire to help yourself.
For example, using beads that you assign qualities to, like truth, calm, belonging, safety, love and inspiration can be woven into a small bracelet and worn as a talisman. Six intentions infused into many beads and strung together.
Another possibility is weaving with yarns and other types of lacing. Using the same idea of infusing qualities in each color and weaving them together.
There are also ways to infuse these qualities into stones to wear in a pouch as a necklace. Many ideas that give you the ability to support yourself with intentions set specifically by you that enhance and enlighten your energy and wellbeing.
This is a personal practice between you, your spirit, your inner child and your wise self. No need to share with others. If you feel the need to do so, pay attention to such a desire as it waters down your ability to help yourself.
Keep in mind, nothing is set in stone. Updating and refining the jewelry is always an option.
As an observer of your life, in silence recognize you as the observer and you as the participant in your daily life. There is no need to impose a timeline on yourself. There is no need to judge whether you’re doing it right. There is no need to implement any rules and regulations. Observe your tendency to do so and recognize the habitual response of limitation on your self-imposed freedom.
Whatever response you feel in helping yourself build from within, your reaction gives you further information to see more clearly the turns you opt to take to keep you caught swimming against the currents. No judgments no punishment. Gentle, kind redirection guides you back on course.
Remember, all your inside parts are on the same side of the table, all working towards keeping you safe from harm. Some inner beliefs may be using a hammer to keep you safe rather than a gentle redirecting caress.
Despite illness of body or mind, in spite of blinding despair or habitual belief, who you are is whole. Let nothing keep you separate from the truth. The soul, illumined from within, longs to be known for what it is. Undying, untouched by fire or the storms of life, there is a place inside where stillness and abiding peace reside. You can ride the breath to go there. Despite doubt or hopeless turns of mind, you are not broken. Spirit surrounds, embraces, fills you from the inside out. Release everything that isn’t your true nature. What’s left, the fullness, light and shadow, claim all that as your birthright.
Participants’ Reflections:
Thank you so, so much. Getting in touch with my soul is often elusive. I seem to have a lot of antennas that keep popping up and I am mindful of situations with other people or things that need to be done and so on. Your many avenues of suggestions of ways to do that are deeply appreciated. When you talked about knowings, the thing that popped into my head is violets. I absolutely delight in the deep purple nestled in the grass and my yard gets covered with them. The other day I discovered the first one of the year, and my neighbor was with me. She reached down, plucked it and ate it and pronounced it full of vitamin C. There is a soul self thing that responds to violets for me. The other part that jumped out at me was where you said pay attention to sharing your special intentions with others…because it waters down your ability to help yourself. I’m such an extrovert that was a real message to me.
The phrase that resonated with me is that it is all in the intention. I think whether it is meditating or in reaching out to other people or where you put your focus, it is all in the intention. And if you wander off, you can come back to it which is encouraging.
While I was meditating, I was imagining really cheap beads you can find. Plastic, pastel colors, no big deal. But the power that goes into them when we put in an intention, they become something else. It doesn’t matter what they are made of, whether they are made by some famous artist or machine made, it’s the intention we put into it that makes it hold a vibration that helps. Thank you.
I loved what you said about the violets. I am drawn to them as well. That’s wonderful to have all those in your yard. I have been a vegetarian for about 38 years and vegan for 11 years. You spoke of gentleness. I was thinking about how gentle I am with animals. And if one does something wrong, I use a gentle redirection. Wouldn’t it be nice if I did that with myself? I love finding beautiful pinecones, some whole and some eaten by an animal. I find beauty in pinecones.
I love the power in intention. And what you said in the beginning, no life is wasted on this Earth because of wounds and lack of direction. Every sentient form has a purpose —it was so reassuring because there are so many deaths now. I think of the lost potential when I hear of people dying, whether from the pandemic or starving or all the reasons that people die. I think of the loss of potential that they could have shared with the world. What you said was reassuring to me, that there was still meaning in their lives no matter how long they were here.
Thank you so much. I’ve never really thought of my soul purpose. When I got into recovery, I learned to live by a rule: if I’m not centered, my job is to get centered. And if I am centered, my job is to help others or be creative. I live my soul purpose within that maxim. I used to treat myself very badly, always berating myself with negative self-talk. One thing I learned from my sponsor is that if I ever say anything negative about myself, to write down ten positive things about myself. By doing this, I reprogrammed my brain to love myself. It took a few years to do it.
If we define ourselves as weird, weird is something that someone else has interpreted as negative. I think we should honor the weird. When we look at someone and think they are weird, we don’t realize how weird we look.
Thank you for joining us today. Thank you for spending time with yourself and thinking about intentions because our thoughts create intentions. Something to pay attention to. Have a good day.