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I Didn’t Know What to Expect

Updated: Sep 26, 2020

It is with trepidation I ventured away from home not knowing whether I would be able to focus and write for this loving community. How easy it is to listen to my mind and ignore my heart. Transitions are hard for me. Safety always comes first and in any transition, my safety is threatened no matter where I am. My body feels it first with stomach pain, my breathing and thoughts are shallow.

I have intentionally been conversing with the universe for almost 25 years, whether by receiving messages from the departed or downloadable teachings from a higher wisdom. And still I question whether I’m able to connect away from home. It’s a challenge I have had all my life. What does matter is my intention. Intention is powerful.

Last night I experienced a full moon in Rockport. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want to fall over the edge of the road. I didn’t want to be hit by a car. I wanted to be out of the wind. And then the orange rim of the moon peeked over the ocean and I forgot about everything else.

Awe and wonder. The magnificence of the rising moon. How easy it is to be caught up in my mind. How easy it is to be distracted. How easy it is to receive magnificence from the earth’s gifts once I ease up on my control. Every day gives me an opportunity to wake up to my senses and ignore my mind. Every day miracles wait for me to find them hidden among the distractions of my mind.

I am grateful.

Intentions are set using our mind’s focus. No matter our gifts. No matter our life circumstances. No matter. Choosing to focus your intention on a positive goal can help ease up on the difficulties of life. Start with a small intention. Intention is the first step. Awareness is the next. What lifts your spirit and feels good to your soul? A change in perspective no matter the moment can be an uplift.

For the next 15 minutes I sit in trust knowing the universe supports me. I receive universal healing no matter the busy-ness or calmness of my mind. I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am surrounded by a loving community. I am grateful for my mind and my heart, knowing they work together for my greater good. And so it is.

It isn’t really difficult,

This bridging of the realms.

It takes no special agility,

No training in firewalking

Or turning cartwheels on

A tightrope, just a blend

Of will and surrender.

When I open to the source

Of wonder, I let go of the

Trapeze to soar weightless

And amazed. I calculate

Without thinking, and grab

the next trapeze bar on the fly.

Will and surrender are not

Adversaries but two ends of

One broad arc that fills the

Circus tent with life.

There can be no show

Unless the acrobat

Is ready to let go.

Participants’ Reflections:

  • Thank you for that reading. It was timely. The things you said were rattling already in my head this morning. The piece that I took that stayed with me was the unthinking calculating of reaching out and grabbing the next trapeze piece. It’s trusting and intention and all the big things you talked about, along with the willingness and serenity. So I felt like you handed me a combination to a lock. It felt like it landed on that for me. Where is it in me that knows that it can make decisions? It’s not coming out of all the chatter in my head. Can I trust it? When I asked if I could trust it, the answer I got, from playing with your reading today, was serenity and willingness. That was a gift.

  • It’s with those words I do this today. With my serenity and my willingness.

  • During my meditation, it was deep and wonderful. I saw me as a trapeze artist letting go of the trapeze bar and falling into the net. For me, that net was the universe. And it reminded me, just trust, just trust. The universe is always there for us. I’m going through some things. And my trust wavers, depending on the day. But most of the time, I try to trust. And the net told me “you can trust.”

  • I have the words in my head ‘fake it til you make it.’ I’m going to just breathe, and fake it til I make it. Gets me through another moment.

  • Thank you for the reading. You captured the moonrise on the edge of the continent. It’s disorienting to be in a different place. So I focused on gratitude. When I find chaos and confusion around me, and I’m feeling uneasy and uncertain, I move to gratitude. So during the meditation, I listed all the things I am grateful for: friends, colleagues, my health, our car, my parents, my spouse, abundance, and my work being done so I can relax with friends in a beautiful place.

  • My mind is all over the place. I appreciate this space, it’s such a comfort to hear what everyone shares.

  • Trapeze artist, interesting. We had a swing set growing up with a trapeze bar in the middle of the swings. Kids like to show off. I remember hanging upside down til the blood rushed to my head and I had to reorient. We sometimes get upside down in life in attempts to be showy, and it brings us back down to reorienting and be right-side up in a natural way. Your writings convey what it feels like to be in nature, and you translate it for us so that we can be there. Thank you for your translations so we can be transported there.

  • When I read the thing about the moon, it meant so much to me. It’s such an incredible feeling to me to be so connected and to say something with such truth. When I speak from a truth, and I believe that when we all speak from a truth, there’s bells going off inside of us, there’s a resonance that rings true. And it is so profound to be able to speak truth and allow myself to be present in it.

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