A concept is an idea or notion conceived in the mind. A core belief is a concept or notion conceived in the mind resulting from an experience while living our life. The only difference between the two is the core belief is nestled deeply within our psyche acting as a filter to all our experiences.
I developed a belief I was unsafe if I was misunderstood. I can come up with many examples of how this played out while reading the history of oppressed people. My story doesn’t matter. My core belief matters because it impacts my day-to-day life.
I live in a paradox with my human mind cooperating with my spiritual purpose. Actually, I think we all do. I choose to exercise my spiritual purpose a lot more than the average person, and often feel alone though I am not.
The latest video of Matt Kahn talks about limiting concepts, and our awareness of them helps us understand and release them.
It occurred to me the other day, rather spontaneously, the only thing standing in my way to accepting my personal power is me. I get in my way because of my belief system. I feel unsafe expressing myself freely because of the scenario I play out in my head over and over.
It’s so easy for me to ignore the familiar scenario because I’ve seen it so many times.
Something bad will happen because of something I do. I have ignored this repeating story for years much like I ignore the dust on the floor and the mess in the corner. Frankly, I’m tired of holding back. I want to be free to express what I have to say and not confined by my core belief.
In yesterday's reading, I did just that and let my guide share the message without slashing and censoring what I received. I allowed the message to come through. It was scary. My intention was to stay present as I listened to my message. I knew there would be a backlash as there always is. It would be okay.
My backlash was the same reaction for years – bouts of crying as I found things to be upset over. Those bouts turned into anger at the world for its lack of safety. Those bouts turned into retreating to my bed and hiding until I felt safe enough to come out. And yesterday’s was new to me, a racing energy throughout my body like my insides were sounding an alarm warning me that everything was wrong. I just couldn’t place my finger on what it was. I felt out of control. I stayed present with it. It was uncomfortable. I got some reprieve in the evening while watching a movie. The movie changed my focus which helped me change my thoughts. I made it through the day.
I believe every time I practice gentle loving kindness to myself, I build more of a foundation to fall back on when I choose to push against my core beliefs and be free.
As Matt Kahn says, and I paraphrase, we can choose to believe we need to clear a limiting belief before we can step into the divine light we already are. If we hang on to that notion we need to change, we are giving our power to that belief and that keeps us stuck in the loop of “if only I could.”
Some more paraphrasing of Kahn: for one split second if you allowed yourself to abide as the living presence of God in its most imperfect form, “if you can do that for five seconds, the wallpaper of pain and fear will begin peeling off the walls of your infinite eternal being.”
We live a paradoxical life with two contradictory concepts. In truth, we are living reality in the form of divinity. We are here to remember and we remember by learning through life’s lessons.
I’m tired of running from myself. I choose to be who I am and I know I am okay.
Participants’ Reflections:
Walking through fear is a huge one. I honor the way you did it with grace yesterday. I remember what I felt like this past weekend walking through my fear that my project was going to be an utter disaster. I stayed present and that’s all I can do when it comes to walking through fear, to keep breathing and staying present in the moment. At some point, the thing is over and either I’ve succeeded or it’s been a colossal disaster. But time moves on. When I attach to the worries and the fears, it only increases my blood pressure and causes stress in my body. So I might as well breathe through it and stay in the moment. You did that yesterday. Thank you for being a role model.
Yesterday’s reading meant so much to me. I thought about it all day long. I have felt so much joy and expansiveness from what you said. During the meditation, I was thinking about it. I felt a sense of coming home when you were reading it. I wish I could have this conversation more in my everyday-being-in-the-world life. I have a few people I can have that conversation with but it’s not something to bring up in my everyday world. I have that sense all the time that I’m not being my true nature with other people. I’m working on it. If they think I’m weird, let them think I’m weird. I’m trying to get over that fear. Your reading yesterday just left me feeling expansive and fearless. It’s interesting you felt fear when I was getting a whole other vibe. A song came to me, maybe it’s a chant. It says something like “when I call on the light within, I come home.” I felt yesterday you allowed me to call on the light within and I felt very much at home with you and everyone here. Thank you.
I too felt yesterday’s reading brought a lot of freedom. It was very nice to be in a community other than my own. I do have a tribe where I can speak and share my own psychic experiences. But to feel it with all of you yesterday and for you to be a role model to live beyond our limitations, it was quite a gift. Even today, the being quiet when you ask for our reflections after we meditate is more of a reflection of my own barriers to fully being all of who I am. I speak only for myself, but when I’m not able to share a reflection, it’s about the integration of this new way of being that all of us are being invited to step into. To step in without the limitations and judgments and the lack of courage, and let ourselves be in that full essence space we talked about yesterday. I’m just processing.
Thank you so much. I’m sure it was one of those magical things. I happened to read yesterday’s reading just before I got on today. It was very much with me. Even though I wasn’t here yesterday, I felt it. What came up for me, both from yesterday and today, is my name and why I changed it and the story of that whole journey. There are many layers to that change and who I am. It’s just made me really want to journal about it to understand it on many levels.
One of the moments I treasure most is, in the morning when we come on, there is a good morning greeting and then there is the opportunity to gaze at each other, and not fill it in with chatter. That goes against what we are used to. We are used to walking in and filling the space with chatter. So thank you. It’s just a precious moment for me.
I’m very glad for what you said yesterday. A dear friend I talk about is behind the thin veil, which I believe as well. There’s part of my true authentic self that I can’t always voice. It’s not that I’m aggressive or rude, but I think I can offend people. It’s hard for me that I can’t voice some of those beliefs. There’s a beautiful tree outside my window which is in the sunlight. Its bark is still wet from the rain, the sun, the shadows, the breezing blowing a little bit. It’s so beautiful. I can get lost in the total peace looking at those shadows. You can have my tree and rest in those shadows when you are in fear like you were yesterday.
I wanted to say that this is not a place where we try to fix each other or where we judge. It’s where we listen.
Thank you. Not being here to fix each other is a wonderful thing. I have a habit of thinking I can always fix things but I can’t. I find joy in the uniqueness of each one of us. I went back and re-read yesterday’s reading a couple of times, and I sent it to other people. It gave me hope and it tapped into a feeling I have felt for a long time. I so appreciate your venturing forth to tell us what was on your mind and what was given to you. There are so many gifts as I look at each face in this group. I would hope that none of us, no matter how weird our thoughts or feelings may be, would hold back because I think we are still creating. We are the universe continuing to create, so let’s keep on keeping on.
Thank you. What was just said spoke to me. This group is nothing short of a miracle. It’s interesting because we’ve had a couple of people who were key parts of the group who have left because of things they’ve had to do. The group has kept going. New people have joined. It is constantly changing. I think it’s an absolute miracle. Thank you all so much.
I want to say something about people trying to fix things. It’s just an indication of where they are at. It’s up to us whether we want to take it or not. It shows me how people care, and it doesn’t mean that I have to feel less than in order to feel their support. I think it’s a natural tendency to want to comfort. It’s why I have strong clear boundaries about the mechanics of this group – the crystal bowl chimes, the standard verbiage I use—it helps me feel safe. And when people feel safe, they don’t feel like they have to take care of other people in order for them to feel safe. So it’s a good thing all around. We are a living breathing vessel. I don’t know if any of you know this, but we had someone join us one time with stage 4, end-of-life cancer. And then she died a week later. She wrote me during that week to say that her time in this group gave her such peace. So, to call us a living, breathing, changing group—this is our collective energy. We hold this energy for whatever experience people have. It’s incredible. It’s beyond what words can express. I’m proud to be part of it and I’m proud each of you feel your feelings, whether they are tears or joy, they are all welcome as long as it’s shared with a heart intention. People are reading the blog. It doesn’t matter if we are here viewing our images or reading it online. It’s the energy of it, the essence. That’s what it’s all about.
I thank each of you for joining today, for being part of this incubator. I am gentle with myself today. I invite you to be gentle with yourself, no matter where you are at. We walk through our day living our lives paradoxically in our human bodies as a spiritual being. I hope you all have a gentle day.