Gifts of Hindsight

Updated: Sep 27, 2020

As I age, I grow wisdom

I find more space in my head

Of awareness in my choices,

Actions and thoughts

I’ve done nothing special

To earn the wisdom I hold

Except to live in extremes of

Pain and joy and act as witness.

I have always been told I need

Thicker skin, to lighten up,

To smile more, to chill out

That I feel too much.

I am a granola head,

I think too much

That I need to relax

Not care so much.

Each criticism I embodied and

Brought close to my heart

I demanded myself to comply but

my demands faded into nonconformance.

Over and over I would struggle to comply

To be accepted, to be approved.

One little comment set my teeth on edge

And I found myself in my corner again.

As I age it doesn’t matter

How much I conform because I take time to

see who I am and now agree I am

who I am supposed to be.

I don’t know if I would have looked so deeply

Inside to figure out why I do what I do

And believe what I believe if it wasn’t

For the criticizers who demanded I be different.

My parents gave me the biggest gift