Updated: Dec 30, 2020
I wish I came with an instruction manual.
Minimal confusion and clear pathways.
My routines help give me comfort
And at the same time annoying.
I’m remembering 14 years ago
Losing my wife in a car accident
After 15 years of marriage
Standing in the back yard looking up.
I was angry and scared.
Not knowing what was next
Have to sell the house
Move away from the memories
My daughter was getting sicker
My job was not too stressful.
I was shaken to the core of my being
And held in comfort by spirit.
Every day I connected with a higher consciousness
Every day I felt moved by my heart towards love
Every day I knew what to do in the moment
And I didn’t know where I was going
I went outside under the heavens and made a deal
I’m willing to follow my heart
I’m willing to use my gifts for service
I’m open for guidance and communication
I laid out my needs
Wanting to share my life with someone
Wanting more understanding why she left
Wanting answers to my confusion.
I’ve learned my ego is not going anywhere
As its value merges with my heart
I’ve learned to listen to my fears
And I’ve learned to trust
I am at the open door