Updated: Dec 30, 2020

I wish I came with an instruction manual.

Minimal confusion and clear pathways.

My routines help give me comfort

And at the same time annoying.

I’m remembering 14 years ago

Losing my wife in a car accident

After 15 years of marriage

Standing in the back yard looking up.

I was angry and scared.

Not knowing what was next

Have to sell the house

Move away from the memories

My daughter was getting sicker

My job was not too stressful.

I was shaken to the core of my being

And held in comfort by spirit.

Every day I connected with a higher consciousness

Every day I felt moved by my heart towards love

Every day I knew what to do in the moment

And I didn’t know where I was going

I went outside under the heavens and made a deal

I’m willing to follow my heart

I’m willing to use my gifts for service

I’m open for guidance and communication

I laid out my needs

Wanting to share my life with someone

Wanting more understanding why she left

Wanting answers to my confusion.

I’ve learned my ego is not going anywhere

As its value merges with my heart

I’ve learned to listen to my fears

And I’ve learned to trust

I am at the open door