Eleven months ago, I started this Zoom meditation experience because I deeply feel the need to be in community as I weather the present pandemic storm. I reached out to my close community and it has grown from there. My wife has joined in as well. Silence has taken on a meaning beyond what I expected. Silence now has a capital “S” because in my opinion, Silence is a doorway into my heart and mind. When I sit in Silence, I pause and hear my thoughts, feel emotions and reflect. Silence grants me space to just stretch out and be with me. Sometimes I journey to amazing spaces and other times I practice the art of surrender and acceptance.
I have to also share that Silence has threatened me at times. In my Silence, I feel my pain rise, discomfort grow and fear grip me. Sometimes I feel anger bump against my insides. Breath helps it dissipate. I experience aha moments and glean understanding by giving myself time to process, time to feel, time to just be. I am familiar with the ups and downs and hear myself share them, in vulnerability, because I know we all experience similar ups and downs. I hear the testimonies; I witness the tears and discomfort.
I appreciate breath as a metaphor to living my life. I manage the ins and outs of joys and challenges, maintain steadiness using my breath, recognize the gasps and lock-downs when I hold my breath, and the ultimate release and surrender to life using my breath.
I feel more whole and present with myself, and recognize when I leave my side. I see your faces in my inner awareness and know I’m not alone. I chuckle from comments and reflections. I hold close in my heart your challenges. I am a tree standing in a forest surrounded by other trees and we communicate with each other in ways beyond my imagination. We are a grove with an open invitation for others to join. We continue to amass our web of roots reaching far inward.
I am not the anchor. Collectively, we are the anchor as we practice Silence and deepen our roots. Silence is our gatekeeper. Gentleness is our map as we guide ourselves home. Thank you for your willingness to journey into yourself. Thank you for your vulnerability when you share your thoughts and emotions. Thank you for following your light that brought you to us.
With gentle kindness, as we move into Silence, I imagine each one of you held in loving arms hearing tender words of support and appreciation for the journey that brought you home to yourself. I honor each of you in your life journey.
Let me breathe only grace today, only
that which slows, steadies,
only that which permits
and pardons and points
to the blossoms inside the broken,
the poetry inside the pain, the nourishing
newness inside the now
Let me breathe only grace
today, only that which invites
me to speak my very own
language for as long as I have breath,
only that which hums: