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Hope is Surrender

Hope is Surrender

By Shirley Riga

I learned something about myself last night

I won’t use a shopping service ever again

I care deeply for my food choices

Otherwise I am in pain

I care deeply about my space

Otherwise I am in pain

I care deeply about my safety

Otherwise I’m in pain

I care deeply for my time

Otherwise I’m in pain

Pain is my motivator

Pain is a global motivator

Discomfort results in change

Discomfort gets my attention

The more I connect to my heart

The deeper I feel

My heart bumps up against my pain

I weigh my choices

As I have weighed for years

In 1999 I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia

I resisted my pain and my limitations

I resisted my differences

I resisted and fought for normal

Pain is my motivator

My resistance worsened my condition

I hardened my fight

I demanded my health

Until I cracked

The crack widened

I was 100% disabled unable to move

My couch was my safe haven

My pain abated by my stillness

My tears dried by my surrender

I gave up

My surrender held boundaries of hope

My surrender lessened pain

My surrender lit next steps

Time is faster now

The pain that has been building

On our planet is palpable

Our collective body has cracked

Our collective body is immobilized

Our collective body is in pain

Our collective body must surrender

To the hope within our boundaries

To the beauty in our communities

To the light within our souls


  • What struck me in the reading is that we are a collective body. It’s been raining, and the rain is an equalizer, a cleansing thing.

  • I heard the words “battling the disorder by resting.” In this pandemic state, people are resting and making connections. It’s that image of the Earth lying fallow for 7 years. We have regeneration. Sometimes it's just resting that helps the body to heal.

  • Reading very touching for me. Pain has been a motivator. I've resisted pain. Surrender lessened your pain. I was taught to fix things. I have to surrender my pain. Thank you

  • Now after all this time meditating, it amazes me how easy it has become.

  • Thank you for reminder of surrender. I wanted to be further along in my project and I have a choice to either beat myself up or to surrender into the joy of what I have accomplished.

  • Negative thoughts create pain. I'm letting go of them. Thank you for the reminder.

  • What I resist, persists. I used to live in pain all the time. Then I learned to let go to god. Eckhart Tolle talks about the pain body. Even thinking of pain causes me anguish, so it’s my choice what I do with it. I used to believe in the phrase “no pain, no gain”. I was a crisis junkie. Today, I relish the peace I have.

  • Tomorrow is the pagan holiday Beltaine. It’s a time to show love. In old days, jumping fires in joy. Try to imagine self as flower in baskets

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