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Writer's pictureShirley Riga

We are the Cake


In the mid 80’s I was in weekly therapy dealing with my new-born terminally-ill child. I made it a habit to go to a bookstore after my appointment and just wander, trusting if there was a book that I needed to read, it would get my attention. I was confused that a brand-new baby could be born terminally-ill, and I had many questions and a lot of anger and fear. The book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Dr. Susan Jeffers, found me on one of those days and that book changed my life. That book became my bible. I found it an easy read with resources and tools that helped me cope with my daily life, and I gained more understanding of my chaotic thoughts and feelings. I learned to use the power of my mind in my favor instead of it running amok as it had done for decades. Harnessing the power of my mind is a lifelong endeavor, but as the years go by, I continue to practice and now teach all Jeffers taught me.

Gentle, loving kindness is a doorway into our hearts. We each deserve to be treated with respect and love, and who better to deliver but ourselves. Open the door to your self-love. Welcome in gentleness and compassion, and patience and wrap your arms around yourself and smile at the gift we deserve. I wanted to share this poem I found very fitting to my thoughts this morning.

Krista O’Reilly Davi-Digui of A Life in Progress

Fear is loud and bossy.

She can be vicious at times.

And the worst of it is that

she often mingles truth with fiction.

But you must learn to challenge

the stories she feeds you.

You get to be the boss of your thoughts.

You can learn to question

whether or not

everything she tells you

is truth,

whole truth,

and nothing but the truth.

Since you have done the work

to deepen self-awareness

and self-compassion,

when she throws all your past failings

in your face you won’t crumble

because you already know you are imperfect…

AND you are beautiful

and resilient

and worthy

of building a

thoughtfully crafted life.

Participants reflections:

• Reading spoke to me

• Bossy fear. What a bully I am at myself even though I am against it

• Writing your own story helpful with relationships

• Little voice comes out us my truth. When all the clutter away, it comes. No control over it. Lots of committee members, i like when my truth is heard

• Woke up in a bad mood, alone, a young inner child feeling dismissed. Lesson is to be in it

• Teacher challenged me with mirror work to say I love you to mirror. Rewriting negative thoughts

• When hear negative thought, write ten good things about self. Reprograms brain.

• Gratitude for food I eat in honor of daughters birthday. Gift to her

• Other peoples love is icing on the cake. We are the cake. Self love is the key

• I like the idea of jumper books. I'm drawn to some books.

• Learned to love self. Gravitate towards thing that support me

• Jumper cards in tarot cards

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